just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
