# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I want you more than these girls want KFC
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
