i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
