My sheets look like a crime scene.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
