AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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