i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
