So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
