I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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