its not stalking. its research.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
