It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
