I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
