I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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