I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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