??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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