There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
