Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
