Just mADE A PArabola og urine
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
