Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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