U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Randomize
