your thong is hanging out like whoa
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
