Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
