so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize