I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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