You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize