guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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