I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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