My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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