If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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