I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize