Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
