I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
