Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
How naked do you want me to be?
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