My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
