if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
