can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
