A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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