good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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