yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
