paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I love you. Go after that dick
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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