My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize