I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize