He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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