what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
