what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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