I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
