Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize