I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
