so explain again why im purple
no
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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