Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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