WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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