I think my vagina is haunted
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
