I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Randomize
