do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
