i may or may not be watching the land before time
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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