Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
