just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
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