My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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