Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
