VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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