Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
