we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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