I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
