I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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