She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
