I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
