Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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