You're completely useless in the revolution.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize