Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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