its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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